Alexander Cole Dulin
"XANDER"
Born on June 8, 2011 at 2:12 p.m.
Weighing 7 lbs, 11 oz, and 19 3/4 inches long
So, many of you have asked and wondered...WHAT???!! How did this come about???!!!
Well, let me share the story with you!
On January 1, Jeremy and I sat down to talk about our family 'goals' for the year. We wrote down many things on our list and one of those 'goals' was to expand our family, either naturally or by adoption. Unfortunately, we have not been able to get pregnant, and even though we believe in miracles we figured it would not hurt to start the adoption process. I contacted our case worker in Kansas City and we updated our foster case license in hopes of adopting a child in that way, as we did with Nate. However, God had other plans.
Twelve days after we had sat down to discuss the upcoming year, I received a text from my mom that said, "Pray for a baby boy who will be born in June." I texted back and said "Ok" but didn't really know what was going on. After I finished teaching one of my aerobic classes I called my mom to get the full story.
She went on to explain that one of her friend's daughters was pregnant and had plans of giving the baby up for adoption. She had just had dinner with her friend and said that Jeremy and I's name came up in the conversation. I was not told who the friend was so I wrote a general letter to the birth mom and her family to indicate that we would absolutely LOVE to be considered as possible adoptive parents. I mailed it to my mom to pass the letter on and just prayed.
About six weeks went by and I was getting pretty anxious. Jeremy was my rock and kept saying, "if it's meant to be, it will be", and "just be patient", which of course was so much easier said than done! However, on Friday, February 25 (Jeremy's birthday weekend), I received the anticipated news from the adoption agency letting me know that Jeremy and I had been chosen to adopt this child! In short, we were told that the birth mom did not even look through any of the agency's profiles, she chose us by our letter and by prayer. The case worker started explaining the process but it was all quite a blur. I was out running errands at the time so when I came home I completely broke down and could hardly talk! Poor Jeremy thought that someone had died and finally I blurted out the awesome news, "She chose us!"
We told our immediate family right away but did not share the news with a lot of people. We wanted to be sure that everything went as planned and didn't want to announce the news to the 'world' (specifically facebook) just in case something fell through. We even kept the news from Nate for a couple of months and broke the news to him on Easter weekend. We got him an "I'm a BIG BROTHER" book and told him that he was going to get a baby brother! I explained to him that the baby would be growing in someone else's tummy, not mommy's, and he said, "In Daddy's??" Needless to say, we all had a good laugh with that one!
Once we told Nate we started getting Xander's nursery and everything ready and Nate loved jumping in to help. He helped me paint the room and constantly talked about what he was going to do as a big brother. He prayed for Molly (Xander's birth mom) and started picking out his toys that he would like to 'share' with 'HIS baby'.
We were eventually told who the birth mom and her family were. We ended up meeting Molly on April 1st and had an amazing meeting with her. We left completely in awe of her strength, maturity, and decision. Her parents were a huge support and we talked so long that the agency had to 'kick us out'! I think we all received confirmation that day that God had brought us all together for this baby and there was not a doubt in any of our minds that God had His hand on this whole situation as He promises us in Romans 8:28. We kept in contact with Molly through the remainder of her pregnancy and were thrilled to receive a generous gift from her...pictures of her belly with a bow wrapped around it saying, "Don't open until June" with the sweetest card in the world. We were just in amazement as to how God was orchestrating everything.
Molly's due date was June 12, however, on June 6 she called to say, "How would you like a baby tomorrow?!" I was filled with emotion as she told me that she was going to be induced the next morning. I called Jeremy, finished packing all of our stuff, and well...I jumped up and down a lot in excitement! We got up the next morning, got Bo to the kennel and headed to St. Louis in much anticipation.
When we arrived in STL we headed straight to the hospital because we were told we needed to fill out some paperwork. We ended up seeing Molly and her family in her room and at that point, nothing was really happening. We all laughed and enjoyed the company for awhile and then left to give Molly a rest. We headed to our hotel to wait for Xander to arrive.
By 10:00 p.m., there was still no baby and things were not progressing as they had hoped. Thankfully, Molly's mom had my number so she kept texting me the 'play by play', which was a great relief to know what was going on! I did not sleep a wink that night as I just stared at the ceiling praying that everything was going okay. The mention of a c-section was brought up and I was just really worried for Molly and Xander. I do not sleep when I get stressed, but Jeremy does. So, he was out. :)
Throughout the morning I continued to receive texts from Molly's mom to keep us updated. Molly was still having trouble contracting and there seemed to be some complications so we just continued to pray and wait. Finally at 1:30 I got a text from her mom saying that things were moving along and that pushing was about to begin! Soon after, the case worker from the agency called and told us to get up to the hospital as soon as we could so that we were there. We met up with the 2 caseworkers and sat ourselves in the waiting room and after about 15 minutes of waiting Molly's sister came in and said, "He's ALL BOY!" as she showed us a picture on her camera. He was here!!!!!!!!
Molly's birth plan was that she wanted to have Xander cleaned up and spend some time with him before handing him over to us so we expected to wait quite a bit longer until we went in to meet him. However, very soon after his birth Molly's dad came down and said, "Are you ready to go in?" We later found out that when Molly was holding Xander for the first time she said, "Your Mommy and Daddy are down the hall."
I really thought that I would be a mess when I walked into that room, complete with tears streaming down my face but when I turned the corner and saw Molly holding Xander I was just in awe. She simply said, "Would you like to meet your son?" and handed him over to me. I was seriously on top of the world in that moment and was in absolute shock that I was holding this baby. This baby that we had prayed for and had been anticipating for several months. And, he was ours.
The hours following were nothing short of AWESOME. The whole room was crowded with loved ones coming to see Xander and holding him. No doubt, our little family had instantly grown. Not only with the birth of Xander, but with the fact that Molly and her family were now part of our extended family. The nurses were not sure what to do with us...usually the adoptive family does not see, let alone hangs out, in the birth mom's room but we were in and out of her room with Xander the whole time they were in the hospital. Molly and Xander were both discharged from the hospital on Friday, June 10, and before we left we all went down to the hospital chapel where a family friend performed the most special dedication for Xander. It was so wonderful but quite emotional at the same time, and there was not a dry eye in the chapel. Even though the adoption was not final at that point, it felt like it was in front of God. It was amazing to see how God's hand had been on this situation from the moment Xander was conceived and to be standing there with him in our arms.
We all left the hospital together but that was not the last time we saw each other. We met up with Molly and her family a few more times for lunch and for them to see Xander. That may be weird for some people but for us, we are blessed that this adoption is so open and so welcoming. We are so excited that Xander will always know where he came from and the situation in which he was adopted. He will not have that 'void' and those unanswered questions like others who have been adopted. It is also pretty cool that him and Nate are both adopted and can share that with each other. Just like how we have felt with Nate...that God created him for us, we feel the same way with Xander.
Our time in St. Louis has ended up being a LOT longer than we expected. We were told to plan for the process taking about 2 weeks after Xander was born. We were in a hotel room for 2 weeks and then finally moved into my mom's house because we were still awaiting signed papers from the birth dad. He was off at Boot Camp for the military and lack of communication with him slowed down the process. Jeremy has had to travel back and forth to KC via the train so he could work. It has really been hard being apart from each other. He is SUCH a hands-on daddy and I take full advantage of that!!! He is such a great team player so it is definitely hard to be a 'single parent' during the week. Finally, about 4 1/2 weeks of being in STL, we received the anticipated news that papers had been signed and sent by the birth dad! I will admit I broke down as I held Xander knowing that he was now legally going to be our son.
However, the wait still continues. There are two more steps to this process and that is 1) we have to wait for a court date and then 2) we have to get the okay to take Xander over the state line to go home. I am not going to lie...it has been nice having a roof over our head BUT I am super homesick! I am ready to take my baby home and to get back into the routine of our life. Unfortunately we still do not have any idea how long it will be until we will get home. It has been frustrating to just be sitting ducks but all in all this experience has been amazing and I know that it is all worth it in the end.
Xander is SUCH a blessing and soooo sweet and cute! Words cannot express our gratitude to God and Molly for this amazing gift that they have entrusted to us. I often find myself staring at him in awe of the fact that he is here. He is already growing fast and today he is officially a month old! Even though it feels like I haven't been home in forever, at the same time, I cannot believe how fast this month has gone! I am super blessed to be the mom of two boys and very grateful for this opportunity to be the mother of Nate and Xander. Tonight I was on the phone with Jeremy and Nate and Xander started crying in the background. Nate said, "My baby is crying because he wants to talk to me." So, I put Nate on speaker phone so he could talk to Xan. He stated, "I love you Xander man. Good night baby brother."
